Dear Netflix

Dear Netflix:

I'm going to try to keep this brief.

You have cornered the market in home dvd/streaming video rentals.  Reed Hastings, your CEO, pulls in $4 million a year for a salary.  Impressive.  Significantly less impressive is the absurd catalog of streamable viewing options available through Netflix.  If my $8 a month is contributing to Mr. Hastings's four-million-dollar annual salary, then I better stop seeing such shittastic titles that nobody in their right mind would willingly watch.  Moreover, you continually remove the content that I actually want to watch. Where have all the MST3K episodes gone?  Where is Deadwood?  Where is Boardwalk Empire?  Where is Community?  All these used to be available but aren't anymore.  Where are any halfway decent movies that aren't 5+ years old? I can count them on one hand. It's pretty pathetic. Instead we get treated to such celluloid gems as:

Sargent Kabukiman: NYPD
Zombie Sorority Girls
Assault of the Sasquatch
Nazis at the Center of the Earth
Another Gay Movie
Chop Kick Panda
Shaolin Grandma
My Stepdad's a Freakin' Vampire

The sad thing?  I only made up ONE of those titles.  The others are ACTUAL TITLES.  I'll leave it to you to guess which one....

Also, I do not live in Marcus Hook, PA.  I don't live in PA at all.  Stop telling me what is popular in Marcus Hook, PA.  I don't give a shit.  Listen, if you are, indeed, telling the truth about what is popular in Marcus Hook, then you have done the residents of said town an extreme disservice.  No one will want to associate with any miscreants from Marcus Hook, thanks to your revelations about their disturbing viewing preferences.  Ever. 

Signed,
I'm Paying For This?

PS: if you remove Columbo from the streaming list and out of my instant queue, I will hunt you down.